Saturday, September 11, 2004

Movie Review: Copper Mountain (A Club Med Experience)

United States, 1983
U.S. DVD Release Date: 5/18/04
Running Time: 1:00
Rated: PG
Cast: Jim Carrey, Alan Thicke, Richard Gautier, Ziggy Laurence, Rob Hebron

Director: David Mitchell
Screenplay: Damian Lee and David Mitchell
Music: Brian Bell
Studio: Platinum Disc Corp

Posted by Hello
On the cover of the cheaply made and corny looking Copper Mountain DVD it reads, “Jim Carrey in one of his first and funniest films running riot on the Colorado ski slopes.” First off, this is not even a properly structured sentence! This poorly written quote pretty much foreshadows the quality of the film. Secondly, this quote does not come from any accredited critic or columnist; it is basically just a bias opinion from one of the filmmakers that is not even close to being accurate. To compare Copper Mountain in terms of comedic value to any other of Carrey’s films, is an absolute joke; the only thing that can be remotely considered laughable here is Carrey’s countless impressions. Even at that, these impressions usually don’t cause side-splitting laughter; they normally just result in jaw-dropping awe depending on how precise they are. Thirdly, by no means is this experience a running riot; it’s more like rotting disarray. Copper Mountain is a sixty-minute pointless picture that contains way too much music and way too little to like. It is so absurd that even calling it a movie is a compliment.

Bobby Todd (Jim Carrey) and Jackson Reach (Alan Thicke) are two young guys looking for a good time. Bobby is your stereotypical loser who constantly has trouble with women, and wherever he goes he can’t seem to catch a break. Jackson, on the other hand, is a slick overconfident skier who is looking to someday go pro on the slopes. For a weekend getaway, these two friends travel to the Club Med ski-resort in Colorado. There, Jackson hopes to earn a spot in the Pro-Am skiing competition, while Bobby just hopes to approach a lady and not have her run away in fear. Both Bobby and Jackson hope to score big on and off the slopes during their life-altering experience at Club Med.

Sadly, this film does not score on any level, nor is it life-altering in any way. The picture quality is so poor, fuzzy, and unclear that it is even hard to make out distinct facial features. The camera angles are beyond bad and the acting is equally objectionable. Also, the balance of volume between the dialogue and the soundtrack is absolutely atrocious. Copper Mountain is one of those painstaking endeavors where you need to turn the sound up when the characters are speaking, and then turn it down once the music starts blaring. Believe me, by the end of the picture your thumb will most likely acquire a cramp. This film contains about thirty minutes of sporadic dialogue, while the other half of the running time is really just the loud, obnoxious full-length tunes of Rompin’ Ronnie Hawkins and friends.

For a greater part of this wretched reel, Rompin’ Ronnie Hawkins leads a crap concert out on the snowy front lawn of Club Med. This musical train-wreck, which literally takes up thirty-minutes of the film’s abhorrent hour, is completely unnecessary and unrelated to anything that is going on in this straight-from-the-sewer motion-picture. Most of the time, none of the film’s characters are even around the concert stage, but for some reason, we are subjected to sit there and watch Ronnie and the Hawks (featuring additional performances by Bill Champlin and Rita Coolidge) perform just about a half a dozen of their “greatest” hits.

Once you start hearing Hawkins’ hits repeated over and over again (especially the dreadful “Low Die”), you really just wish an avalanche would come rushing down the mountainside covering the entire band and all of the film’s players—putting an end to this movie manure. Copper Mountain honestly should not even be considered a motion picture, but rather a live DVD for the Ronnie Hawkins’ band.

Copper Mountain is the absolute epitome of cinematic sewage. It is one big incoherent mess that attempts to survive exclusively on a few of the twenty-one-year-old Jim Carrey’s impressive impressions along with the music of a washed-up cowboy and his has-been Hawks. If this movie (that is more like a long commercial) actually had a workable plot and was even somewhat organized, it would quite possibly have the potential to move up a rung or two on the ladder, but it doesn’t. Instead, Copper Mountain is a wipe out from beginning to end. You’d be better off spending an hour of your life watching fresh paint dry. Seriously, take my advice. Don't go near Copper Mountain; it is an overall piss-poor experience, and its snow is yellow. (zero stars out of ****)

© Copyright Brandon Valentine 2004